Petition, shmetition.

Conversation with our attorney service this morning:

“Hi, this is Uccellina, from Lawyer and Me. I have a Petition to file in Pasadena.”

“Hi Uccellina, how are you?”

“Fine, thanks, how are you?”

“Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrl, I am so sick! I had an allergic reaction to some medication, and I woke up this morning covered in hives. I look like a damn bird.”

“Oh. Wow, that’s terrible. Well, I need to file this Petition -”

“I know it’s terrible! And when I called the pharmacy, the bitch got an attitude with me! So I called the corporate headquarters, and they called her, and she got an attitude with them. So corporate called me back, and they were like, I’m so sorry, we believe you, I’m sorry.

“Well, I hope they give you lots of antihistamines for free. So the Petition – ”

“Oh, girl, they’re giving it all to me for free. Plus pain medication. I’m on so much pain medication right now, it’s like, I’m here but I’m not here. You know?”


“Well, be careful when you’re driving.”

“I will. I figure I won’t take any after three. Okay, well, you have a nice day.”

And she hung up.


14 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Laurie Ann said,

    One of our HR girls called the other day to speak with my boss and ended up telling me her life story, a tragic and heartbreaking one at that, with no provocation whatsoever.


  2. 2

    dancinp said,

    you have a funny life

  3. 3

    Andrea said,


    Oh, my. When you call back to talk to her again, are you going to remind her of this?

  4. 4

    uccellina said,

    Andrea – No, because I’m only 80% sure it was the medication talking. Maybe she’s always like that?

  5. 5

    MonkeyGurrl said,

    I was going to say – we get that even WITHOUT antihistimines or pain medication (that I know of). You should hear the joker that sits next to me – racial epithets and certain curse words are the norm. But she’s my J and I love her.

  6. 6

    Haaaahaa! I don’t know what’s funnier- the after 3 o’clock part or the hang up.

    Please tell me you called back and got someone else.

  7. 7

    Hyphen said,

    Hehe–did she know you at all? Or were you just the lucky winner in her randomness?

  8. 8

    Andrea said,

    Man, that’s too bad. I would be so tempted. “Hi, is this x? I’m not sure if you remember, but we spoke last week. YOu were on pain medications or something? Yes? Do you remember? No? I see.”

  9. 9

    uccellina said,

    I think I’ve spoken with this woman before, but since the order-taking people don’t identify themselves by name, I’m not certain. I did call back, and I did speak with someone else, and we’ll find out today whether the Petition actually got filed or not. If not, I will pitch a screaming fit, terrible to see.

    Then again, maybe I won’t.

  10. 10

    Husband said,

    Don’t scream at the poor lady, Dear. Take your pills.

  11. 11

    uccellina said,

    I can’t. Cats ate ’em.

  12. 12

    Husband said,

    THAT”S why Arthur is sleeping on my drawings!

  13. 13

    glenda said,

    hi. Great post. This has been a disturbing year in so mny ways and now this. Sheesh.

  14. 14

    chaser48 said,

    I read in varied “feminist” writings that women are capable of making their own informed decisions involving sex. Well, most of you do make that choice – but a well educated child with good communication skills, who still believes and lives within a loving family (made of a father and mother – not two ‘daddies or two mommies – and who will end up to be a Conservative and maybe even a god-fearing individual) can also make these same “informed choices and decisions” that feminists taut as being so important. Decision making and problem solving is a skill that all humans develop – not simply “feminists” to the exclusion of not feminists. Your entire feminist retoric since the 1960’s is pure bullshit — Feminism is plagued by the desire to be autonomous and also deal with your female hormones your way! Sorry, you fuck up and end up pregnant, you best a have a good job and a nice man to marry or you are no different than the millions of child infested government subsidized households in the south and similar parts of the world. I wouldnt be proud to be labled as a Feminist
    Many of you in your writings and speeches are just plain blind, dumb, immature and very stupid.

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