Saturday morning was so great, guys. I mean, maybe I’m easy to please, but when I checked my blog stats and saw a link from bestblog.wordpress.com, I was pretty chuffed. It wasn’t much, but still! My first piece of critical acclaim! I called my parents. I considered printing it out and taping it to the refrigerator.
Then I checked the main page yesterday. It had been updated! What marvelous act could they have chosen to follow mine?
RussianWomen.wordpress.com. It’s a semi-literate, segmented diatribe extolling the virtues of Russian women:
There is nothing more re-vitalizing and life affirming as to be surrounded by young and beautiful Russian girls all shyly giggling away because you are a foreigner and a novelty in their country. Truly the stuff of life… eh?
ALL WOMEN are walking Baby Making Machines…[snip]…These women did NOT say “I want to be a liberated and sexually free woman who focuses on MY CAREER so that I can screw myself out of the most fertile years of my life and then go to an expensive pregnancy clinic covered by my health plan during my mid to late 30’s in order to try and get my older and deteriorating eggs artificially inseminated with some anonymous guy’s sperm de-thawed from a test tube.”
Russian girls at a very early age understand the law of nature which determines a woman’s value as a potential mate and mother based on age.
Oh, but it gets better. Here’s what he thinks of American women and feminism:
feminism is a very seductive virus which persuades all of the girls who are infected with it with the idea that career and “self-fulfillment” (which usually translates to how much can they steal from some poor guy who is stupid enough to marry them) is more important then family.
You see the feminist have sold this line to American women that..”YES, you can have it all!” You can put off motherhood, have the killer career, have enriching and liberated relationships like they do in Sex in the City (ie be a Slut) and STILL have a child and then ONLY WHEN YOU ARE REALLY READY to settle down (aka late 30’s and above).. then you can try to find your “life partner”.
I see the devastating results of “Communism” or “Socialism” everyday when I step out my door even-though it ended 15 years ago. “Feminism” is just another extension of this and heaven help you guys if you ignore it.
So after a month of this sort of thing, he’s found his true calling. He’s going to be a one-man matchmaking agency!
Let me be your “Flight Controller” watching out for you as you take this journey and also watching out for your “target destination” to make sure that it’s safe to land… or if it’s needed.. to redirect you to an alternate runway. Get it?
Stretching the air travel metaphor painfully thin, he elaborates the options. He’ll consult by e-mail or phone; he’ll speak to the Russian ladies by phone and give you his “personal evaluation”; he’ll even meet them to “physically verify” them. And, if that’s not enough, there’s this:
There is one more Super Duper Advanced Option but I’m not going to get into that now since this will be on an extremely limited basis and only for the type of guys who want to clear out the the whole runway and arrival terminal before they land.
I wonder what that could be?
My only consolation is that the person who picked this for WordPress’ Best Blog page seems to be a different person from the one who picked mine. Maybe the person who picked mine is a language-controlling, communist, scheming feminist, just like me.
Also: See Harper’s, On the great Ukrainian bride hunt.