Not all who wander are lost.

People come to this blog in many ways. Some know me from childhood; some know me from knitting; most have arrived by blog-hopping. And then there are those few who, late on sleepless nights, type their secrets into Google or Yahoo!, hit “search,” and find themselves here.

I feel affectionate and protective toward these travellers. Because WordPress tells me what search terms have brought them to my home, I know something about their journey, and feel oddly responsible for its end. Many of them – the “birds nest knit”, the “russian girls ticklish”, and the “Megan Mullally size” – do not find whatever it is they seek here, but that’s okay. Their needs are not urgent; no doubt they peek, purse their lips or raise an eyebrow, and return from whence they came to try again. But some seem sad, or angry, or anxious, and those are the ones I worry about.

“Husband is lazy, makes me do everything,” I’m sorry I wasn’t more helpful. I hope you’ve spoken with him about this, and that you find the support you need, either online or in counselling (the latter might be more reliable).

“Pain medication and child custody,” are you in danger of losing your kids? Is your ex forging prescriptions? Have you been fighting the custody battle for a long time, or are you just now contemplating divorce, and researching possible tactics? I haven’t written about this subject at all before now, but if it would help you, I’ll gladly tell you about my sedative-addicted grandmother. There was no custody battle in that story, though. Maybe I really have nothing to offer you.

“Desi food to eat for increased sperm count,” I’m not sure why you’re restricting yourself to Indian food for your semen-multiplying endeavor, but I did a little research for you. Do you like chana masala? WikiPedia had this to offer:

According to Culpeper, “chick-pease or cicers” are less “windy” than peas and more nourishing. Placed under the dominion of Venus, they offered a number of medical uses, including increasing sperm and milk, provoking menstruation and urine, and helping to treat kidney stones. Wild cicers were thought to be especially potent.

“Fertilized egg when attach to uterus,” I know that one! Implantation occurs around 7-10 days after ovulation. Spotting may occur. Or not.

“Orange County Car Accidents August 2006,” I hope you’re all right.

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11 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Sachi said,

    I *heart* this post. Personally, I worry about the woman who found my blog by searching “I’m a widow now.” I want to hunt her down and hug her.

  2. 2

    Laurie Ann said,

    No one finds my blog…sigh.

  3. 3

    miss kendra said,

    37% of my search terms are “kendra naked” or some variation thereof.

  4. 4

    MonkeyGurrl said,

    Kendra, that’s because yer always nekked.

    But, like LaurieAnn, the only people what find my blog are the weird ones!!

  5. 5

    uccellina said,

    . . . and right after you wrote that, I got a hit for “kendra thong.”

  6. 6

    Annika said,

    I’d be hurt at not getting a link if not for the fact that I don’t know how, exactly, to describe our meeting (succinctly – given the time, I can describe anything). Nor do I remember if you had a blog yet.

  7. 7

    Mom said,

    And I thought you hadn’t read Tolkein.

  8. 8

    […] I was inspired to check my site stats for incoming searches — something I’ve done before, but not recently or in depth. (By the way, while I was looking for those posts I found this one, which makes me wish that I still had those emails.) […]

  9. 9

    SilliGirl said,

    Wait, how does wordpress tell you about site stats? Where do I go???

  10. 10

    […] “>Not all who wander are lost. Very good news. i’m very happy today cause i met with my best friend. here is very intresting post which impressed me much: People come to this blog in many ways. Som e know me from childhood; s o m e know me from knitting; most have arrived by blog-hopping. And then there are those few who, late on sleepless nights, type their secrets into Google or Yahoo!, hit “search,” and find themselves here. I feel affe…Nice post out of thousands.Link to original article […]

  11. 11

    Lawrence said,

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