There is a blog out there, which I will neither name nor link here, because what I am about to say is maybe not so nice. The guy who writes it is somewhat notorious in local knitting circles for having a wide streak of The Crazy. He showed up not long ago and immediately started his own knitting group (fine), which he advertised heavily (fine) in poor English (okay) with four million seven thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine exclamation points after every sentence (arghh! See? One is plenty).
His blog is similarly bedecked with a surfeit of punctuation:
Iam going to wear with my new “Option-G” T-shirt i brought it online!!!!! It will be great match!! Dont you think? OLIVE with GRAY!!!
And so on.
I check this scourge of syntax occasionally, partly because he actually seems to be a good knitter and dyer-of-yarn, but also because I derive a sort of There-But-For-The-Grace thrill from watching the language tortured so cruelly. Occasionally, my perusal yields unexpected fruit.
Also i was really hard time with this stitch..I was sooo fucking confuse this stitch..What is this fuckling this mean?
And that, with a little inspiration from the ever-parsing Laurie Ann, brings us to our contest.
What is this fuckling? Is it an ugly fuckling? An Easter fuckling? Does it swim? Does it fly? What does it look like?
Make me a fuckling. Draw it, knit it, carve it out of squash, whatever you will. But make me a fuckling. Then take a picture, and send it to me with a short (100 words or less) biography of your creation: uccellina at pacbell dot net.
I give you until the new moon – Friday, September 22, at midnight. Winners will be chosen, and prizes will be sent.
You have your mission. Now go.
A Bird\'s Nest 
Laurie Ann said,
September 8, 2006 @ 7:06 pm
I sat up all night thinking of my Fuckling.
Annika said,
September 8, 2006 @ 10:42 pm
This should be good. I shall retire now to plot and plan.
Mom said,
September 9, 2006 @ 5:43 pm
I have no time this week to enter the contest but I freely offer up the image of a roast fuckling pig for anyone who wants to try it!
Cheryl said,
September 9, 2006 @ 7:35 pm
he’s a very sweet boy you know. He just doesn’t speak more goodly like we do.
elsewhere said,
September 10, 2006 @ 10:30 pm
I think it’s some kind of dropped knitting stitch (speaking as a non-knitter).
Before I got to that part of the post, I was going to suggest a detective story competition, with the title, “Murder in the Collective Knitting Blog.”
ladylinoleum said,
September 11, 2006 @ 11:26 am
You know, I’ve been sort of inspiration-less lately and now I have something to focus on thanks to you. I’m making a fuckling, whatever the hell it’s to be.
MonkeyGurrl said,
September 11, 2006 @ 12:36 pm
Not sure what it is, but having read your post, it now amuses me.
Fuckling. Leetle fuckling. Gol’dern fuckling.