So imagine my delight the other day when I was accosted while strolling down the street by a young, earnest woman in a grey hoodie, standing next to a card table from which dangled two signs: “Impeach Cheney First!” and “Al Gore is Lying About Global Warming.” “Don’t believe everything you read!” she yelled, pointing at the newspaper tucked under my arm. Then she thrust a pamphlet at me cheerfully. “Here, read this!”
An elderly, balding white man looked earnestly up at me from the shiny cover of the pamphlet. “Ah, Monsieur LaRouche,” I smiled. “We meet again.”
Lyndon LaRouche has had a long and surprisingly successful career in kookdom. In the 1960s, he was associated with socialist and radical leftist groups, despite his distaste for the influence of the counterculture of that time. He shifted in the next decade to become a rabid right-winger and anti-communist, encouraging his followers to physically attack members of Communist and Socialist groups, including one with which he had previously been affiliated, in his “Operation Mop-Up.” Since then he has run for U.S. President no fewer than eight times, usually trying for the Democratic Party ticket.
Throughout LaRouche’s various political permutations, one theme has remained constant: conspiracy. (Let me try that again. Conspiracy!) Lately, he has turned his attention to Al Gore and Global Warming, which, he says, is a Conspiracy!
Were Gore’s swindle to become established international law, the result would be that the entire planet would now plunge quickly into a prolonged dark age, one deeper, and worse than any other known to us from historical records of the past, a dark age from which only distant future generations would probably recover, but, that only after a probably long, and deep descent of depopulation, into rivalry with whatever species of baboons, or the like, might be available for making such comparisons.
Gore’s motivation for bringing about said Dark Age Of Chaos And Doom:
[T]here are almost species-like, culturally induced differences among human types, axiomatic-like differences in types of cultural breeding which are sometimes comparable in form of expression to differences in biological varieties among lower forms of animal life. In that sense of the matter, in the strictest sense of the term, Al, at bottom, underneath the affected “company manners” exterior, Gore as a specimen, is simply not a desirable sociological type, nor, at this stage in his life, probably civilizable, either.
He goes on to compare Gore to syphillis. No, really.
Of course, what kook would be complete without a Jewish Conspiracy! theory?
“being Jewish, they couldn’t qualify for Nazi Party leadership, even though their fascism was absolutely pure! As extreme as Hitler! They sent them to the United States . . .The independent central-banking-system crowd, the slime-mold. The financier interests.”
(My perennial question: if Jews control the world’s money, why haven’t I gotten any of it?)
Kooks fascinate me, therefore I share them with you. Enjoy.