I’ve got the full-of-baby whines

It’s hard for a lot of women who are pregnant after infertility to feel okay about whining. After all of the diligent temperature taking and the checking of cervical mucus and the tests and the medications and the doctors’ bills and everything, there’s a sense of guilt if you admit that you’re feeling less than wonderful at any given moment. But happy as I am to have wiggly babies in me, I will confess there are a few things I don’t love so much about pregnancy.

1) Stretch marks. It’s not an aesthetic problem; the damn things are uncomfortable! I’m using three different oils and creams four times a day, and still they itch. And they are tender. Which leads to our next whine . . .

2) Girth. Again, not an aesthetic problem. I just don’t have a very good sense of where my belly is anymore, and I keep bonking it into things. I have to use the large bathroom stall, because I have trouble closing the doors on the small ones without whacking one of my kids in the head. I get stabbed by the corners of my desk, and I occasionally get a little too intimate with people in the elevator. (Excuse me, madam! Is that a belly full of babies, or are you just happy to see me?)

3) The Crotchal Pain of Doom (CPoD). Because my misaligned pelvis is spreading about as gracefully as a giraffe on ice skates, I hurt a lot. I walk like a Weeble, tilting dramatically from side to side. I actually have to lift my legs with my hands in order to do challenging things like putting on pants or getting into the car.

4) Sleeping. Because of the CPoD, simply maneuvering my body into the bed requires a deftness and care to which I am unaccustomed. Husband came into the room last night to find me sitting in the middle of the bed looking, he said, like the world had ended. I told him that I was just trying to convince myself that the whole ‘lying down’ thing was really worth it.

Here is my (non) artist’s rendering of my nighttime positioning:

Pregnant, I sleep with many pillows

The colorful square things are pillows, in case you can’t tell. And once I’m wedged into them, getting back out of bed is both very difficult and very painful. Which makes the last item on today’s list particularly unfair.

4) Peeing. I’ve started keeping track of how often I go to the bathroom each night. On Sunday night, I fell asleep at 11:30, then got up to pee at 12:30, 1:30, 3, 3:30, 4:30, 5:45, 6:45, 7:45, and finally got up for good at 8:30. That was a record-setter, but most nights I get up 4-6 times. I’ve gone twice just while writing this post.

Edited to add: 5) Inability to count.

So that’s my life right now. Stripy, enormous, Weeblish, tired, and full of pee. Am I still thrilled to be pregnant? You bet! Am I ready to smack the next person who responds to my whines with, “Well, you asked for it?” Definitely!

You have been warned.


17 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Helen said,

    Towards the end, I remember often getting up to pee three times in a 45 minute span.

    It’s good fun, isn’t it?

  2. 2

    Laurie Ann said,

    Go ahead and whine all you want. You have earned the right to do so. As for the “you asked for it” folks, feel free to bop them on the nose. Most of us (or many) asked for our jobs and we feel free to whine about them–that’s with days off.
    [not comparing gestation to a job, but you know]

  3. 3

    Michelle said,

    The best thing that has happened to me this pregnancy is meeting my chiropractor. My midwife recommended her when I started having round ligament and sciatic pain at a mere 10 weeks. I go weekly, and she keeps me aligned. Pubic symphysis ache, neck tension, even when I turned my ankle, she fixed me right up. She specializes in pregnancy and childbirth, and if I can find that in ittle bitty Ithaca, I’m sure there’s someone out in LA. Relaxin is a powerful powerful thing, sometimes it just needs help being used for good instead of evil.

    I don’t imagine anything will help the peeing though. 😦

  4. 4

    Sara said,

    When I was pregnant with Vivian, I told myself that what I asked for was a happy, healthy baby, not horrible back pain. It just happened that I had to have one (back pain) to have the other (the baby). You didn’t ask for crotchal pain of doom. So whine away!

    Isn’t the saying “it’s always darkest before the dawn?” In a few short weeks, you’ll have two lovely babies in your arms, instead of your belly!

  5. 5

    womantowomancbe said,

    About the PSD, I would strongly encourage you to seek a knowledgeable chiropracter to treat you for this (some chiros don’t know the proper adjustment). I had the same thing my last pregnancy and didn’t think I had the time to devote to chiropractic treatment (thinking it would take multiple adjustments over several weeks), and found out just recently that as little as one adjustment can solve the problem.

    Something you can do at home is the following (a chiropracter I know by email who is also a childbirth educator wrote this): Have mom lie on her back on the floor with her feet on the floor and her knees up. Keep the feet touching and have dad put his hands between her knees. Mom needs to pull together while dad “wishbones” her legs….GENTLY. She may get a “pop” or a crunch sound or no sound at all – all of which is perfectly normal. She may even feel it in her sacroiliac (SI) joints. This is classic for pregnant moms. he keeps doing this until they strengthen up and he can’t pull them apart. If they don’t strengthen within a few days of doing this, then, she may need to go see a chiropractor and get her SI joints checked. Often, the pubic bone won’t release unless I’ve adjust the SI joints and vice versa….since it’s all connected.

    Anyway, hope this helps! I hated that pain–but like your name for it–such an apt description!


  6. 6

    uccellina said,

    Michelle and Kathy – I signed up recently with a good chiropractor who specializes in preggos, and am very pleased thus far. It’s just that the relief is pretty temporary, and while it helps enormously with the stiffness, it doesn’t do a whole lot for the pain.

  7. 7

    Mom said,

    Good whines get better with age. So when you whine at my advanced age (60, ye gods), you’re really good at it. You need a lot of practice, so whine away. Pretty soon the babies will be practicing their versions.

  8. 8

    Nora said,

    This may be why I keep flirting with the notion of adoption.

    What’s a blog for, if not to kvetch? Just because you had to go to all that extra effort to
    create those babies doesn’t mean you have to be thrilled every moment on the way to meeting them in person.

    I believe, however, that your troubles mean things are going well. My friend MomofThree says that she had several total Freak Out Moments (or Months) as it got closer to time to deliver, but that Nature had a way of making her so miserable the last month or two she
    was saying “Bring it On!” by the end there with all of ’em.

    I wish so much these days that I was on the right side of the United States to be of better use to you.

  9. 9

    Jenna said,

    You have every right to complain and I openly encourage you to smack the next person who says something amazingly stupid to you.

  10. 10

    Diane Dawson said,

    oh I’m so sorry!! I do remember that there were many things about pregnancy that sucked. Belly bumping was definitely one. And the heartburn and regurgitation of stomach contents in the middle of the night. Ugh.

    But squirming babies – yay!

  11. 11

    dancinpistachio said,

    what ass clown told you “you asked for it”? ugh. whoever it is/was, feel free to pop ’em a good one. also feel free to whine away, especially here on your blog.

  12. 12

    MonkeyGurrl said,

    wah-wah-wah!!! 🙂 And soon you’ll be whining about the 3x/night feedings, diaper duties with twins, and how Husband just doesn’t help out enough (I *know* he will, but how much is “enough” with newborns?!)

    And then, there’ll be preschool, the time they learn to talk back, dating, choice of university, etc., ad nauseum.

    Welcome to the world wide whine of parenthood. 🙂

  13. 13

    Nora said,

    Do they make maternity diapers?

  14. 14

    Mom said,

    Well, they make them for astronauts…

  15. 15

    Annika said,

    I totally forgot until right now that when I was pregnant I used to have to back into the stall if the big one was unavailable. Awkward!

  16. 16

    geckogrrl said,

    Oh I’m so with you! I just hit week 36 on Monday and now I have to go like every 30 minutes!

    It’s totally normal to whine and such while being pregnant. The people who think (or act) like pregnancy is like a form of prozac make me sick (and no, it’s not nausea…).

    You guys have been through so much that’s it’s your right to be honest about how you feel!


  17. 17

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