Want some cats? Cheap?

I used to be a good cat owner. I rescued them from the street and from shelters, gave them tins of tuna, petted them frequently, let them sleep on the bed.

I was sure that I would still be a good cat owner after the babies got here.

I think I was wrong.

When you’re carrying a sleeping baby up the stairs, it’s hard to be gracious toward the cat occupying the entire third-from-the-top step. Who can resist a kitty sweetly poking you in the arm with his paw, asking to be petted? I can, apparently, when that kitty is poking me while both babies are nursing. When two babies are wet and crying, I don’t want to listen to two cats whining to be fed RIGHTNOWRIGHTNOWRIGHTNOW.

And when the cats bring home fleas – despite a recent application of Frontline – and then generously scatter them over the couch, lo, my patience is sorely strained.

And when they pee ON MY PURSE in retribution for the reapplication of the flea treatment, my wrath, it is great.

And when I am so distracted by the fleas and the pee that I leave for work without the bottles I need for pumping, well, I think you can imagine how charitable I’m feeling toward kitties right now.

I love my cats. I don’t want to give them up. And I know no one will take two middle-aged cats anyway; at least, no one who wouldn’t subsequently stick a needle in them, which is obviously not something I would allow to happen. But I would like a hole to climb into now, please. Preferably one without fleas, or cats.


12 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    mom said,

    On your purse? That’s right up there with the time my cat peed on the stove burner (ever smell buring cat piss?) to express her displeasure at being left with a cat-sitter.

    That said, SOMEDAY, your kids will yell “Kitty!” in great excitement and some, if not all, will be forgiven.

  2. 2

    esperanza said,

    About a month before the Sweet Baboo’s early arrival, the other adult at this house was pleading, with big puppy dog eyes, for us to get a puppy. I said no. He said, with the big puppy dog eyes, “are you sure?” yes. I’m sure. And I’ve been sure ever since, and boy are you making me even more sure.

    My sympathies on the bottle-less-ness. I HATE forgetting something I NEED. Can you do something with a ziploc bag and some tape?

  3. 3

    uccellina said,

    Esperanza, I am actually eating my lunch right now and will wash out the tupperware container immediately afterwards to use for milk storage. Thank the gods I had one bottle stashed in a desk drawer for just-in-case.

  4. 4

    Celeste said,

    Yikes, I’m so with ya on how hard it is to be a cat-mom after you spawn.

    Idea for a back-up plan for storage for a worse day–those Gerber breast milk freezer bags. Very stash-able in a plastic bag in your purse or tote.

    Bright side–somebody’s gettin’ a new purse!!! The universe owes you now.

  5. 5

    Sara said,

    oh boy, can I sympathize with you right now. Our older cat Deano is lately puking all over the house. I feel bad for him because I know he’s miserable, but I have so little patience with him and his gastric/bowel issues. And if we need to take him to the vet, it always costs us at least $300, which I do not have right now.

    I can second keeping a box of breastmilk storage bags in your desk. Medela makes ones that attach directly to your pump. I used to keep a stash of them — in fact, I may still have 1/2 a box. I’ll check and if I do, I’ll bring them to SnB tonight!

  6. 6

    KS said,

    Yeah, welcome to Mother Guilt…it’s not just for kids anymore.

    You can only imagine with the sheer number of animals we have how much they fall behind the kids. I figure as long as they’re healthy and well fed and have a farm to explore to their heart’s content, they’ll be fine. Actually, that’s my philosophy for the kids too, come to think of it.

    And Mom, what you say is so true…my oldest yelling “Kee-KEEEEE!!!” (“kitty-kitty”) at 18 months old was worth it all.

  7. 7

    husband said,

    Does that mean I can stop feeling guilty for fantasizing about giving
    the katz cement overshoes and throwing them in the lake at MacArthur Park?

  8. 8

    uccellina said,

    Well, no, Husband. I still feel guilty and so should you.

  9. 9

    Mom said,

    Feel guilty. Feel very guilty. Unless such fantasies mean that you overcompensate and give the cats extra love in between feeding, changing and playing with babies. If there is any in between.

  10. 10

    kathy a. said,

    peeing on your purse — that is unacceptable! gah!

    we cannot put christmas presents under teh tree, because senior cat decides that they are there for her to pee upon. especially the flat boxes containing clothing for the kids from grandma. i love cats, but cannot understand their little pee brains sometimes.

    only one of my cats goes outside, and never for long, but she has apparently shared the flea glory with the former ferals who will not allow even petting, yet. which reminds me, time for more flea treatment for the ones i can catch.

  11. 11

    screamish said,

    hey yes, this happened to me a few weeks ago catsitting, realized one of the kitties was trying to trip me up (the way cats do) every time I got up for a pee in the night. I started getting murderous urges…imagining myself falling onto my belly in the dead of night.

    Don’t feel guilty, I’m a catlover too but our hormones tell us babies NUMBER ONE, Kittikats NUMBER TWO….

  12. 12

    Diane Dawson said,

    The ONLY reason I’m nice to our kitties at all any more is because Lilly copies everything I do.And I want to model good pet owner behavior. Which seems to be working, as she mostly pets gently and only occasionally pulls whiskers or tails.
    I asked my husband to take care of cat sick and litterboxes. Forever. He asked if I’d help out occasionally. No. Not even once. You want the cats to live, try and make me feel like they’re not here.

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