I am not this good.

From SundryMourning:

No offense
but if you were on Survivor
you would get voted off
first.
They would say you had a strong personality
but they would really mean
that you were too whiny
wouldn’t eat the coconuts
sucked at the puzzles
and couldn’t swim for shit.

I have read these poems about parenting six times today and I laugh every time. Thanks Annika!

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4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Laurie Ann said,

    Oh, me too. The one about kissing a banana slug was adorable and the one about wiping his nose with the lotion kleenex had me laughing so hard.

  2. 2

    Mom said,

    I”m personally rather fond of the thrashing alligator.

  3. 3

    husband said,

    Look, my Lovelies,
    How Daddy can take this One, Big Bottle,
    And pour half of it into another Empty Bottle,
    Thus creating Two Bottles,
    So each of you has something to eat
    And will stop all the complaining.
    Truly, I possess the wisdom of Solomon.

  4. 4

    Allison said,

    I am crying I’m laughing so hard. Thanks so much for posting this.

    I am thinking about making a cracker
    targeted especially for toddlers
    they will be called Danger Crisps
    and they will come
    in the following flavors:

    Electrical
    Choking Hazard
    Toxic
    Rocks N’ Dirt

    I think they will be a hit, based on my extensive market research
    of one.


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