The 2000 year old man.

The oldest man in the world works in my building, and his name is Harold*. He is a paralegal for Big Law Firm, from which we rent space. Conversations with Harold are a challenge, because he likes to make jokes, but he can’t hear very well. So he’ll say something humorous, and you’ll make a joke back, and then he’ll stare at you blankly through his thick, spotted glasses and say, “Pardon?” And by then the joke has died, but now you have to repeat it loudly and then wait through the long silence until Harold says “. . . Ah.”

Harold doesn’t see too well either, as was made painfully clear by our encounter this morning in the office kitchen.

Harold: What are you making?
Me: I’m not making, I’m just washing.
Harold: Ah. . . . Those are funny little dishes.
Me: They’re not dishes, actually.
Harold: Ah. . . . They’re not dishes?
Me: Um, no. They’re parts for my breast pump.
Harold: . . . Ah.


5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Annika said,

    Oh dear. Poor Harold. I wonder what he thought of that!

  2. 2

    esperanza said,

    Multiply Harold by about 30 other old people, and you’ll know what my Sunday mornings looked like for a looong time. I hope Harold can cope with his newfound knowledge!

  3. 3

    MonkeyGurrl said,

    Ah, if he’s as old as you say, he’s seen it all already. Just probably forgot most of it. 🙂

  4. 4

    kathy a. said,

    well, maybe he hasn’t seen breast pump parts very often, but he’s still learning on the job. which is the good part of harold. and as monkeygrrl mentioned, he’s seen most things before.

  5. 5

    Rhonda Smart said,

    Gah! I was running to a meeting today and actually left my parts in the microwave in one of those steamer bags and didn’t realize it ’til 3 hours later when I needed to pump again. They were in one of the 4 microwaves all through lunch in a busy lunchroom!

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