First, I would like to say THANK YOU! to all who participated in the Fuckling Contest. Each and every one of you is now my best friend. We should totally have a slumber party and paint each other’s nails. And you would all fit in my tiny house, too, because there aren’t that many of you.
Here are the entries, in the order received.
Fuckling—it’s what’s for dinner
By Laurie Ann
“Fuckling” is a dish one would make for a special occasion. It’s definitely not a meal you’d want to eat every day, but for those romantic evenings with your special guy, nothing beats a tender, juicy fuckling.
Sadly, single gals don’t have occasion to enjoy this meal very often. Finding a good fuckling can be time-consuming and preparation is exhausting. Fortunately, Stuffer’s understands.
Introducing Stuffer’s Tender Roasted Fuckling–now available in a single, yet generous, serving size. Check your grocer’s freezer today!
The Story of a Fuckling
I had grand plans for this fuckling’s introduction.
MAKE WAY FOR FUCKLINGS
A pilot downed in the Sahara and confronted by a small boy who appears out of nowhere and demands,
“If you please, draw me a fuckling.”
But in the end, this fuckling’s history is not nearly so literary.
Rather, (s)he was born of a sleepless night and an afternoon’s delight, mothered by Lamb’s Pride and fathered by a crochet hook, size f.
[This Fuckwad came without a biography, but I think we all know its history. – ed.]
Fuckling is the urban slang term for a cupling – Get it? “Coupling” = cupling? This fuckling is Mistress Whatsherbutt. She’s very forgetful and a little messy, but she’s very generous with the tea in her teacup. She, by the way, would like you to come over for a tea party tomorrow. Please RSVP.
Fire Truckling was born in Conflagration, Ohio. Rumors began to spread immediately.