My orthodox nineteen year old cousin updated his Facebook status today to read: “[x] is ardently supporting the IDF and their previosuly [sic] taken actions in addition to hoping there will be no cease fire”.* Hoping he was joking, I asked “Why would you hope for no cease fire?” He replied, “So we can finally end rocket attacks on Israel once and for all.” “By just wiping all the Palestinians out?” I inquired sarcastically. His sixteen year old sister answered, “yah if we can.”
There is absolutely nothing I want to say to these two children right now that wouldn’t wreak havoc in our family later. But I am ashamed.
*This was probably a response to my own Facebook status, which is currently “Uccellina wrote to her congresspeople to demand the US work for a cease-fire in Gaza NOW.” My letter, for those inclined to write their own, went as follows: “As a Jewish woman and a mother, I ask you to ensure that the United States employs all diplomatic means to move for an immediate cease-fire in Gaza, and suspends all weapons deliveries and all military resupply to the IDF while it campaigns in Gaza. The AP reports that Gaza’s largest hospital is completely overwhelmed, and few if any of the casualties are militants. Please, please help put an end to this.”
I struggled with what to write about today. I considered baby stories (still not sleeping! I’m really tired!); I pondered knitting anxieties (seaming! Argh!). But I kept coming back to one stark fact: I’m not blogging about Proposition 8. And I’m not doing it because I don’t have to. It doesn’t affect me. Not personally. My marriage is still safe. No one’s angling to take it away, or prevent me from doing it again tomorrow if I so choose. Why should I talk about Prop 8 when I could tell funny stories or put up cute baby photos instead?
Not talking about things is a privilege granted to those in unmarked categories. Not talking about racism is a privilege of being White. Not talking about sexism is a privilege of being male. And not talking about prop 8 is a privilege of being straight. But here’s the thing: I’m not straight. My romantic relationships before I met my husband? Were with women. One of whom I stayed with for nearly four years. What if we had stayed together? What if I had had twins with her? In that case, you better believe I would be outraged, furious, saddened, and blogging about this every single day.* So I owe it not to someone else to talk about this, write about this, and generally make a stink, but to myself. To myself and to my children, who might come home one day with same-sex partners. Who might one day want to marry them.
I won’t write about it every day, because did I mention cute baby photos? But I will be bringing it up again. And again. Until the damn thing’s fixed.
Faith is blogging about it regularly, and has details on local Los Angeles protests and boycotts.
Here’s a website with more information on protests and actions.
And here, if you haven’t yet watched it, is Keith Olbermann’s excellent rant.
*Well, okay, I’d probably still be putting up cute baby photos sometimes.
At the same time California votes to make a Black man president, it bans same-sex marriage.
This Washington Post article from June explains the clusterfuck that could well result from this law. What will happen to the thousands of couples who married between May 15 and yesterday? Will heterosexual marriages be halted under the part of the Supreme Court decision not altered by this amendment, which prohibits different recognition of same-sex couples and heterosexual couples?
I hope by the time Robin and Wren are grown up, they’ll be guaranteed the right to marry no matter what their sexual orientation.
Edited to add: Faith has more here.
I stood in a line for an hour and fifteen minutes this morning, and even though long lines are, as Rachel Maddow points out, a poll tax, I was proud to be there.
I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I am nervous. I am eager.
I may be overcaffeinated.
I am enjoying checking this and seeing the differences between the words entered by McCain and Obama supporters.
How are you feeling?
KS wrote in comments below:
So my question is, how do we support individual women in their choices while still disseminating correct (and important) information about breastfeeding, and how much should we be responsible for our own reactions to that information?
I think these are great questions. I do believe it’s important to own your decisions, and if you decide to formula-feed, at some point it’s up to you to be okay with that and try not to feel offended by factual information. I hate seeing the “breastfeeding nazi” boogeyman come up, as it inevitably does in these discussions. I think most lactivists truly are trying to deliver important information to a vulnerable population – pregnant women and new mothers – and they don’t have the corporate backing or financial interests working for them the same way the formula companies do.
Of course, there are also some completely judgmental jerks around, and it’s okay to smack them down when they get all snippy about your personal choices.
What do you all think?
(Notice how I lazily avoided addressing the first question? Don’t be lazy like me! Brainstorm!)
(OH also yes I am dying of the pre-election suspense and DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE PEOPLE.)
(Unless you’re voting for the other guy, in which case, please forget.)