Guest blogger: My uterus.

my uterus

Hey hey heee-eeey, y’all! Good to be here, good to be here. Have you tried the martinis? I like ‘em dirty, myself, but then, that’s the kind of girl I am!

I was talking with Uccellina the other day about how there really aren’t enough uteruses (uteri? Even I don’t know!) on the blogging circuit. She told me I should get my own blog, and I thought about it, but damn, between the follicular phase and the luteal phase, I’m pretty busy. And during menstruation, forget it. I’m totally wiped out. So we agreed that I would just post here every once in a while.

This is a good day for my first post. I’m sure you’ve all heard by now that Plan B has been approved for over-the-counter sales. That’s right! Safe and effective emergency contraception for all!

Well, not really for all. You have to be 18 or older, and able to prove it with a photo ID. That’s how cigarettes are sold, after all. And just like cigarettes, Plan B will be easily obtainable at your local convenience store or gas station.

[Pause]

Psych! Unlike cigarettes, which are actually bad for you, the completely safe Plan B will only be sold by licensed pharmacies, not convenience stores or gas stations.

I like this, from the New York Times:

Drs. Galson and Woodcock both said in their own depositions and public statements that scientific considerations drove their decisions. One memorandum that has since been made public states that Dr. Woodcock told agency employees that she feared that Plan B could take on “ ‘urban legend’ status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults.”

Sex-based cults! Who’s for ‘em? *raises fallopian tube*

But seriously folks, every small step forward should be appreciated. Especially in an era of so many big steps backward.

Good night everybody, and please! Tip your gynecologist.

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10 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Sachi said,

    She is cute and pink. I think I love her.

  2. 2

    miss kendra said,

    your uterus is so beautiful! i love her. i bet she’s soft and silky too.

  3. 3

    uccellina said,

    She is, in fact, a silk/cotton blend.

  4. 4

    Husband said,

    Don’t let that Soft and Silky act fool you. Sometimes she can be kinda scratchy… and you don’t wanna be around her whenever she’s got Writer’s Cramp.

  5. 5

    MonkeyGurrl said,

    How can something so beautiful cause so much pain?! Hmmm. Said the same thing about my last boyfriend.

    Anyhoo, when I heard about the approval, I immediately thought of Uccellina. Uccellina and Uterus. U2. HAH. I crack me up.

  6. 6

    Your uterus is very lovely. And I think it could have quite a future on the comedy circuit.

  7. 7

    Mom said,

    Am I crazy or does it look like Pippi Longstocking?

  8. 8

    SilliGirl said,

    Does anyone else think it’s a little hysterical that Dr. “Woodcock” is talking about sex-based cults?

  9. 9

    Laurie Ann said,

    I knew a man named Peter Woodcock. Yep. I couldn’t say it without giggling.

    Your uterus looks fresh as a daisy. Mine would have a beer in one tube and a Twinkie in the other.

  10. 10

    The Muppety One said,

    I am officially amused. This is even better than the Barbie Dream Torah I knitted. (A little nothing in barbie doll pink that scrolled in on itself from both sides with the needles still in. *shrug* Mom laughed anyway.)

    *waves*

    -Blast from the Past in NYC


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