Things you will discover on the lemon cleanse.
- Sugar crashes are rare, but may be promptly resolved by eating an apple.
- The lemon/maple-syrup/cayenne mixture is far more delicious than you ever suspected.
- Eventually, the metal pin that holds the lemon-squeezer together will gasp, shudder and die.
- When this happens, you can squeeze lemons with your bare hands. It is messy. Be careful not to squirt yourself in the eye.
- Careful or no, you will squirt yourself in the eye. Replace the lemon-squeezer as soon as possible.
- The world won’t end if you eat a few spinach leaves and maybe some green pepper at dinnertime.
- While you’re on the cleanse, you will not crave spinach or green pepper. You will crave mac ‘n cheese, pizza, cake, Chinese food, Indian food, and SourPatch Kids. In that order.
- After you finish the cleanse, you will have little or no desire to eat any of these things. Except for the Indian food. Because Indian food is delicious.
- Don’t get too used to the absence of the last three pounds you drop. They’ve just stepped out for some fresh air; they’ll be back soon.
- You will poop more in these ten days than you have in the preceding year, or possibly ever.
Comment RSS · TrackBack URI