Contests

Blog Contest #1 – Fuckling

Closed!

There is a blog out there, which I will neither name nor link here, because what I am about to say is maybe not so nice. The guy who writes it is somewhat notorious in local knitting circles for having a wide streak of The Crazy. He showed up not long ago and immediately started his own knitting group (fine), which he advertised heavily (fine) in poor English (okay) with four million seven thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine exclamation points after every sentence (arghh! See? One is plenty).

His blog is similarly bedecked with a surfeit of punctuation:

Iam going to wear with my new “Option-G” T-shirt i brought it online!!!!! It will be great match!! Dont you think? OLIVE with GRAY!!!

And so on.

I check this scourge of syntax occasionally, partly because he actually seems to be a good knitter and dyer-of-yarn, but also because I derive a sort of There-But-For-The-Grace thrill from watching the language tortured so cruelly. Occasionally, my perusal yields unexpected fruit.

Also i was really hard time with this stitch..I was sooo fucking confuse this stitch..What is this fuckling this mean?

And that, with a little inspiration from the ever-parsing Laurie Ann, brings us to our contest.

What is this fuckling? Is it an ugly fuckling? An Easter fuckling? Does it swim? Does it fly? What does it look like?

Make me a fuckling. Draw it, knit it, carve it out of squash, whatever you will. But make me a fuckling. Then take a picture, and send it to me with a short (100 words or less) biography of your creation: uccellina at pacbell dot net.

I give you until the new moon – Friday, September 22, at midnight. Winners will be chosen, and prizes will be sent.

You have your mission. Now go.

14 Responses so far »

  3. 3

    Leone said,

    September 19, 2006 @ 11:07 pm

    I came to your website from Noirbettie and I went on a mad search to find this individuals website… then I found it and I realized there are some things I just don’t need to see. If I can accurately draw this fuckling for you in one of my classes than I shall send it your way.

    Reply
  4. 4

    Matty said,

    September 20, 2006 @ 4:39 pm

    I know who it is…. Man, he is a real problem child. I’m in on this one for certain! We (a few male knit bloggers) refer to him as the “nameless one”

    Reply
  5. 5

    Dave Daniels said,

    September 20, 2006 @ 5:30 pm

    OHHHH!!!!! YOUGUYS!!!!! You too funny. You makeme wanna fun have my heart so MUCHHHHH!!!!
    .
    .
    Ok, I just found out about this, and only two days? YOUGUYS!!!! Not enuf tyme.
    .
    .
    Don’t make me get the dye-stalker after to youse.
    Bwahahahahaha!

    Reply
  6. 6

    Paul said,

    September 20, 2006 @ 6:12 pm

    Holy Mother of God! Two days… I’ll try, but my dance card is really full for the rest of the week. I’ll see what I can do… Hehehehehe……

    Reply
  7. 7

    uccellina said,

    September 20, 2006 @ 6:48 pm

    No no, Paul! Extended to the 29th! You’ve got nine days left.

    Reply
  9. 9

    Paul said,

    September 23, 2006 @ 1:58 pm

    WOO HOO!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  13. 13

    gerald said,

    October 3, 2006 @ 11:41 pm

    I laughed out loud (for longer than I should have) at the Stuffer’s version.

    Reply

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